MARRYING THE IDEAL WIFE

              “ The most happy is who is to whom God has given a good wife ”.
                                     Imam Ali Ibn Abi Talib

The marital life is an interesting and necessary institution.  If one fails to understand the core of the conjugal relation between man and woman, he will live a life of conjugal oblivion and disorientation.

Life is tough without enjoyment.  One of the main objective of marriage is the preservation and continuation of the human race.  Such an objective is encouraged by instinct and the process of nature for the creation of the human species.

Husband-wife relationship is not merely a utilitarian relationship.  It is a spiritual relationship that sustains and generates love, kindness, mercy, compassion, mutual confidence, self-sacrifice, solace and succour.  It is to attain psychological, emotional and spiritual companionship.

Men and women are each others garments; i.e, they are of mutual support, mutual comfort and mutual protection fitting into each other as a garment fits the body.  A garment is also a show and a concealment.  This emphasizes their sameness, their oneness, something much more than legal equality.  The husband and wife are described as each other's raiment not as one as the garment and the other the body.  A garment is something nearness to the human body;it is part  of the external world which becomes part of our being.  Such is the closeness of the relationship between the spouses.

Dress is something that covers the body and protects it.  The spouses are the protectors and guardians of each other.  The dress beautifies the wearer.  One feels oneself incomplete without it.  Husband and wife complement each other, one completes and perfects and beautifies the other.

Through marriage, a man can find his soul mate.  It is important therefore, for a man to choose himself a life partner very well.

A wife an important role to play in  helping her husband become successful in life.  A wife that can diligently contribute her quota to the achievement of her husband's goal is needed for if he gets one, he will get the most out of life.  Religiousness is the only condition that Islam indicates which will lead to a suitable match.  A religious wife who has a good character and disposition helps her husbands in all walks of life.  She brings up children well, treat her husbands kin well, obeys her husbands, fulfills his oath, pleases him when coming, and guards his property and  reputation when leaving.

All in all, a good wife is an inspiration to the husband.  If remembers her, he will not let indolence encircle him.  He must think of ways to bring back home the bacon.  He will endure hardships to see that he sustains his wife and children.  For he knows that they will not eat sand and drink from their urination. and or live in the market stand.  Therefore, an ideal wife or a good wife serves as the lever of motivation to her husband.

In his book The Bride's Boon, Mahmud M. Al-Istanbuli referred to Khadija The Ideal Woman.  She was the most rational and descent woman in quraish tribe.  She preferred to marry the prophet (pbuh) before his Messengership because she preferred the integrity and good manners he had.  She preferred him to all the prominent leaders of the Quraish who wanted to marry her.

Khadija contributed to the success of prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and the spread of Islam.  She was the first to believe in Allah and His Messenger and embrace Islam.  This faithful and loving wife supported her husband and helped him endure the most severe kinds of torture and persecution.  Then she relieved him when he was hurt or rejected.  When they called him a liar, she alone remained true.

No wonder people used to say that,   “behind every successful man is a wonderful woman”.  A good wife is indeed the bedrock of  success, happiness and tranquility of a man.

We have come to the end of the third post in the series, HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF YOUR LIFE.  expect the next powerful post in this series.

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ACCUMULATE AND SHARE WEALTH

                                  Laying A Golden Egg

                      “Wealth is not a matter of intelligence, it is a matter of inspiration”. Jim Rhon

This is the second post in the series HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF LIFE.  In this post I intend to talk about how it is important for us to search for wealth in the right process and how we should do with it.

Life without wealth is like a soup without salt.  Wealth is not something necessary that one must have in order to live.  If you don't have wealth, you can live you life.  But that life will not be quite interesting to you.  The importance of wealth is that it makes your life so easy.  Life is loaded with luxurious equipments that your heart must desire.  If you are wealthy, you can afford them and quench the thirst of your heart.  If you are not wealthy, you will not be able to afford them and because you don't have the wherewithal your mind will continue to admire them thereby leaving you in a state of perpetual  desirability without satisfaction.

As a man with a mission to get the maximum benefits of this life, you need to have a goal to accumulate wealth.  At this juncture, the goal is the primary thing and all other things are secondary.  After having the goal, you are then required to learn the best legal ways to accumulate the wealth that you want.  It is difficult I know.  But it is possible.  Because I have seen many people in my life that went form rags to riches.  Nobody can discourage me from trying to accumulate wealth. And no matter how knowledgeable he is, he can't convince me that being  wealthy is bad even if he has reason as many as the sand in this world. 

Let me use this opportunity to provide you with a dose of comparative analysis which will make you you to automatically shut out the wrong comparison that mostly poor people make.  You probably have heard people saying    “ Money is not the source of happiness”.  Now pay attention!  This is where the train of wealth left many people at the station.  You don't have to hear something and suddenly agree with it without thinking it over  That is why CRITICAL thinking is needed for a functional life in general and a financial life in particular.  Money may not be the source of happiness but money can make you happy.  In fact, if you know how to use your money, it will be the real source of happiness in this life and the next.  If you are doubting , may be you need to be reminded of the wealthy companion of prophet Muhammad (s.a.w), Abdurrahaman Bin Auf.

Additionally the danger of the statement   “ Money is not the source of happiness” is that it do more harm than good because it is discouraging and demoralizing.  What people who believe in this statement don't realize is that, if money or wealth cannot make you happy, Can poverty make you happy?  In between the two i.e WEALTH and POVERTY, which one is capable of making you happy?  Don't tell me the answer, keep it for yourself for I am sure it would be of help one day.

The advantage of accumulating wealth does not stay with the man only, it surpass individual confines.  It resides in sharing one's wealth with those that are not opportuned to be wealthy.

If you are wealthy and you make it upon yourself to share it with humanity, you will bring a lot of smiles into the lips of thousands people.  You will help many people who doesn't previously have the opportunity to be educated.    You will provide medical assistance to many sick men and women.  Your wealth will be useful to the people in an innumerable ways.  In Islam, anybody who makes his fellow Muslim brother happy, God will make him happy in ways he never imagined possible.

Therefore, wealth is not to be kept in the vaults. Wealth is not to be transformed into valuables and hidden in the shelf,  Wealth is  not to be restricted to you and your family only.  Wealth is to be shared between you, your family, your relatives, neighbours, needy and other people in the society.  This is the only way you can reap the immense benefits of wealth.  For if you know that you have impacted lives, you must be happy because you have let your wealth loose and it reaches the hands of the servants of God.

Accumulating riches and sharing it with others freely is one of the ways to get the most out of your precious life.  ACCUMULATE AND SHARE!

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HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF LIFE

It is a common desire of the whole of humanity to aspire for the best in life.  People of all ages and virtually across different religions, boundaries, races and culture  have the innate tendencies to get the most out of their given life span on earth.  It is very critical at this point in time, that I write a post that will clue people in on some of the time tested ways to get the most out of life.  But this time the post will be broken down into a series of posts.  Today I am beginning withe first one.

The first post among the series is the call upon how you can live a pretty good and meaningful life.  It has long crossed my mind that, there is no single man in this world that wants to be a run of the mill.  Nobody aspire to spend a mediocre life unless otherwise he is mentally disturbed.                                                           

Since the beginning of the world, the acquisition of knowledge has been an will remain forever the number ONE way in which an individual, state or society has been taking advantage of in order to attain social, economic, political, moral and scientific development.  Any society that neglects the knowledge aspects of its people will surely bear the brunt of ignorance, vice and a host of social unrest. And any society that pay a due and significant attention to the knowledge parts of its people, will certainly enjoy the fruits of intellectual trees that are deeply rooted in the hearts of its people. Because of the role knowledge plays in terms of getting the most out of life, WHY can't us strive for it?

In an attempt to reap the huge benefit of life, you must make the acquisition of knowledge your No 1 Priority.  You already know that you cannot operate the machine of your life from an empty frame of mind.  Living a life involves; spending time, making friends, taking informed decisions, earning a livelihood, choosing a wife, raising the kids, spending your money and achieving your goals to mention but few.  All these relevant aspects of your life cannot be in mint condition without the proper  application of requisite knowledge.  Therefore, all these individual aspects of your life need certain amount of knowledge and prowess for them to function properly and allow you to lead a more useful life.

There is no denying the fact that, the acquisition of knowledge is the wellspring of a successful life.  It is apparent that a man of knowledge distinct himself by the way he interacts and interrelates with other fellow men in the society.  He builds better and sound relationships.  He is ambitious, patient and goal oriented.  He exudes an aura of confidence.  He evinces creativity and intelligence in managing the affairs of his life.  He neither shows off nor is he an embodiment of arrogance.  He is lovable and likeable.  He takes informed decisions on all the relevant aspects of his life.

In essence, if not because of the mistaking tendency of the human being which God has created man with, the life of a knowledgeable man will never be out of shape.  It would have been flawless.

The beauty of the acquisition of knowledge does not stop with a man alone but rather it transcends individual boundaries.  This is where the sharing of one's knowledge come into play.  One doesn't have to keep his knowledge all to himself.  One must be generous with his acquired knowledge.  This will help one become more knowledgeable and sow the seed of one's IMMORTALITY.  For if you learn, you know but if you teach, you retain.  In education, one of the best way to know something better is to teach it.  That is why Islam encourages people to strive to acquire knowledge and share it with common folks.

To be very blunt, the importance of sharing knowledge is multifarious.  Number one, you will be rewarded by Allah because you have carried out one of the teachings of your Deen.  Number two, you are increasing your understanding on the subject matter under discussion because the more you teach someone, the more you reinforce your previously acquired knowledge.  Number three, you are helping other people to become teachers.  Without a teacher, there will be no learning. And a learner today, a teacher tomorrow.  If I continue to mention the benefits of sharing knowledge, they will not be exhausted because they are manifold.  But I know that with this, you will surely get the message that I intend to pass into that little thing called "BRAIN" in your head.

In the end, this is the first thing that you need to put at the back of your mind if you really want to GET THE MOST OUT OF YOUR LIFE.  Till you come across the next post in this series, ENJOY the RIDE!

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WHY WE BREAK LAWS

                                                       

For ages, it has been a well established fact that no society can witness peace and stability without laws governing the conduct of its people's affairs.  The important thing is that every human society wants to be embellished with economic and social prosperity.  But the irony is that prosperity in all its ramifications will not come to people even if they are willing to part with their arm in as much as that society has no laws or the stock in trade of its people is breaking laws like pieces of sticks.

There are three reasons that make people tend to break laws at different points in time.  If you know these reasons, they can help you to protect yourself against breaking laws unnecessarily.

IF WE HATE/DISLIKE THE PERSON/BODY WHO MAKES THE LAWS

The first reason that makes people to be law breakers is when they don't like the person or the body of people that sat and took the time to enshrine the laws.  It is inherently part of human nature to completely disregard and belittle somebody that they have no liking to.  When people dislike a person, the tend to move to the level of detesting any other thing that has business with him.  Naturally, this behaviour is absolutely legally illogical.  As this will make the human society to be dictated by ego, whims and caprices.  The result of which will eventually be an ill wind that blows nobody any good.

As a respected member of your country, you need to be reminded that it shouldn't always be possible for you to fin the person or people who makes the laws those that you are in support of.  Things doesn't always go the way you want.

IF WE HAVE NO RESPECT OVER THE PERSON WHO MAKES THE LAWS

The second tendency that gives room for the possibility of law breaking in a society is when the people have no respect for the person in charge of making the laws.  Habitually, human beings are used to disparaging and disrespecting the opinions, advices, views and orders of people that they doesn't respect.  An example that will substantiate this point is that we all know that children loves their parents more than any other person in their life.  But why is it that some children sometime refuse to obey an order given to them by their parents.  The reason is simple. They don't respect their parents.

Additionally, you should know that it is humanly possible for children to love their parents and at the same time disrespect them.

IF WE THINK THAT THE LAWS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH US

The third tendency that makes people law breakers in the society is the assumption by certain people that no matter what, if they break the laws, the law will have no effect on them whatsoever.  his instance can be seen everywhere in the rulership of our country.

he same people that suppose to see every law breaker is brought to the book are the same people who take the lead in breaking the laws of the land. Also the same political office holders and top ranking officials are very good in passing out selective justice when it happens that the culprit is their boy.

The time has come when all the people of our country need to taste the sweetness of justice.  This is because if justice is done, there will be limited number of law breaking and this will result into growth and development in every sector of Nigerian society. It is the wise who keeps his hands and always strive to stay out of troubles.

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PLEASANT DISAPPOINTMENT

People are a special creatures that very easily detest disappointment.  Whenever somebody disappoint someone, he immediately become furious and revengeful.  But it has come to my understanding that, disappointment can be unpleasant and sometimes pleasant.  The later which you will be wondering how it could be possible.  Yes indeed, disappointment can be pleasant. Let me give you a scenario that will make you search into the history of your life to come out with similar experiences that you were disappointed and afterwards the disappointment proved to be useful.

About three to four years back in Kano, there were two friend.  One of them was endowed with the gifting of composing songs.  The other is blessed with the knack of singing songs. They teamed up together and started sending signals of their gifts in the sub-part of the Hausa Film Industry.  Everything was moving well but the one who was singing the sons was the one who benefit better than the song writer.  But this does not make the composer to be envious about the way things were going even though it was clear to him it was his friend who was making all the money and enjoying the publicity.  Because at that moment he was rich and famous.  The song writer was contented and grateful with his fair share of their ceativity.

One day, the song writer composed a song that he intended to to sing it by himself.  When his friend learned that there was a new song, he demanded that he wanted to sing it.  Hiss friend told him that he should leave it to him because he wants it to be the first song that he should ever sing.  But what happened later was that, the one who used to sing the songs went behind his friend's back and stole the song and eventually sang and released it without the knowledge of his trusted friend.

When the composer learned that he has been disappointed by his friend, he immediately broke their partnership and they went separate ways.  Unknown to him that he is multi-gifted, he continue composing songs and began singing them himself.  He was soon accepted by the audience and his star started shining.  In a little while, he became very rich and famous too.  People thought that he was not only on an equal footing with his friend but he has creatively dethroned him.

Almost a similar case happened to me.  I have a friend whom we share a lot in common.  We decided to come together and work on a project.  He took care of the handiwork while I took care of the networking and the modalities.  The day he promised to finish his line of work came and he didn't finish it.  In fact on three several occasions, he made and broke promises.

At the last time when I met him and he asked to be given more time, I left him feeling hugely disappointed.  I religiously went to work.  I was amazed at the concentration and the speed I inserted into the project.  What I was able to do in five months, I was able to do in six days.  Yes, you heard me right.  I was able to finish in six days what I used to do in five months.  Remember, this was the result of disappointment.


From now on, when you are in the midst of social encounters and someone you trust disappoint you, don't allow anger and the desire to revenge to cloud your reason and prevent your benefiting from the experience of disappointment.  If you play your cards right, the disappointment can be a PLEASANT DISAPPOINTMENT.

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